dates

All posts tagged dates

Dating. Well, The Lack Thereof

Published July 14, 2017 by mindfulofchatter

Deceit-And-Lies

 

I have tried online dating on and off. If you search back, you find posts about the various dates I went on. Most are pretty funny overall. Some are just tragic. Dating at any age is total pain in the arse. Trying to date in your 50’s is a pain in much more than your arse. It just plain stinks.

The questions these supposedly mature men ask are incredible. It’s like talking to a 16-year-old. They are not questions they would ask if sat in a coffee house face to face with someone. But online? Hey, nothing is off limits. Even when they are TOLD it is off limits, they ask anyway.

I thought perhaps this was an issue only for us older women. But no. I know someone who is in her late 30’s and wanting to date again. We chatted a bit about the online dating ‘scene’ and I found her interactions were pretty much the same as mine.

Men lie. About everything. Their name, their job status, their marital status. They ask highly inappropriate questions and demand answers they have no business knowing. Then, of course, you are a bitch for shutting them down. One man I kind of liked finally confessed he signed up so he could get laid. He wasn’t interested in a real relationship. Really? Just go the corner bar for that.

I don’t understand any of this. Why would anyone be such a total douche? Why can’t you just be who you are in real life? Is that so difficult? And why the hell are you on a dating site if your ass is married?

And I get it. It isn’t just men. It’s everyone. Sexual preferences don’t matter. People are assholes online because they are online and don’t have to face the humanity across the table. No one is safe from the online joke that is called a dating site.

As much as I’d like to find a male companion, I don’t see it happening any time soon. I am too old for any ‘meet cute’ thing. The closest I could get is both of us kneeling down to tie shoes laces and realizing neither one of us can get back up without a hand. And I seriously doubt I will be filling bulk bins at work and meet the eyes of some nice man who things I’m all that and a bag of chips. It simply doesn’t work that way once you get a bit older. It doesn’t help that I am too weird for the ‘normal’ crowd, and too ‘normal’ for the weird crowd. I am weirdly grounded?? Hmmmm…

In light of that, I’ll just keep on being happy alone. Because it’s perfectly okay to be alone.

 

One Date Gone. But There Was a Another One!

Published June 25, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

woman-celebrating-at-laptop

 

My movie date from last week has disappeared into a puff of internet smoke. Like magic, he has made no contact what-so-ever. Okay, it’s not really magic. It’s pretty much the standard for online dating. You don’t let anyone know anything. You just disappear. *poof* (And not the English version of ‘poof’)

I really do wish men would grow a pair and write a note when they find they are not interested. I’m pretty sure women do the same thing to men, but since I don’t date women, I can only guess. Either way, it’s not that difficult to write a quick ‘Thank you. Good luck with your search.’ note.

Anyway, Mr. Movie date has not made contact. It’s fine with me. He was nice, polite and fun to talk to. But there was no romantic connection going on. So, next!

And believe it or not, there was a next!

In an unbelievable turn of events (well for me unbelievable), I have had another date! (yes please, go on and applaud)

With boredom staring me down and not much to do, I decided to actually check in on the dating site and see what horrors they had decided were ‘matches’ for me. This generally means I cruise through photos of men who are obese, 5 feet tall (or less), hippie-ish, ugly as sin or have photos of themselves holding something dead (yes, go ahead and hunt /fish, but no wants to see all you with your dead things). This day was no exception. As I cruised through the profile photos and creepy profiles, one caught my eye. A new one. I read through his profile, looked at his photos (not one dead fish or deer in sight) and noticed we had a few things in common. He looked ‘normal’ and nice. So I figured ‘what the heck’ and sent him a short ‘hello’ note. I didn’t really expect an answer.

But he did answer. He sent a nice note back. Pretty soon he asked me to call him. I rang. We talked. We talked for two hours. We made a date for coffee, and talked some more (please note: I do not follow the ‘dating rules’ and think that first phone call should be 20 minutes. I prefer the old-fashioned ‘if we are getting along, let it unfold’ rules).

Coffee date time rolled around. I pulled in, parked and popped inside to see if he was there yet. Nope. So rather than sit and wait and watch everyone watch me waiting, I went back outside and lounged against my car. After a few minutes, my phone rang. It was him. He was walking towards me and waving. I tucked my phone away and walked to meet him.

Holy cow! He was gorgeous. His photos did nothing for him (Well, by comparison of the real life him). I’m not sure if my jaw dropped or not, but I tried to hide my shock in his shoulder as we hugged hello. Wow. Okay, okay. At least I’ll get one date with a gorgeous guy before he moves on to a prettier bird.

The coffee date became a dinner date that ended with a walk in the local park. During that time, he made it clear he wanted to date someone his own age, not a younger chickie. By the end of our date, he made it clear he wanted to see me again.

Again. Wow.

Since then, we have talked on the phone every day. We are getting to know each other better. We are looking for the best times to see each other again. We are both being careful not to rush things, because we both tend to do that, and know it. And the coolest thing of all?

He was a little disappointed that my hair didn’t have pink streaks like it does in my profile photo. I can fix that.

Underwear – I See Paris, I See France. I see………….

Published February 26, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

NEW-HELLO-KITTY-MAN-MEN-S-UNDERWEAR-BOXER-BRIEFS-SIZE

Underwear. We all wear it in form or another. Oh, well there a few who go commando, though I doubt that is 24/7 condition. This, my lovely blogging friends and the inappropriate conversation I had a couple of weeks ago, got me thinking. And we all know where ends up. See what happens when I can’t get a date?

This will revolve around women’s under things as I have no experience wearing male under things. Sorry guys, you’ll just have to follow along the best you can.

Most people know about, and have seen a corset:

corset-back-front-drawing

What most don’t know about corsets, is how it feels to wear one. And I’m not talking the Fredericks of Hollywood spandex piece of crap with plastic stays you wear for 10 seconds. Nope. I’m talking the real deal with steel stays and steel busks. Corsets began life as a way to support breasts, like our modern bra. They morphed into a way to change our body shape to fit the current fashion trends. I have worn a real corset all day, many times. I used to do Victorian dress and Old West Re-enacting. Period clothing requires period underthings, which requires a period corset. Period. Over all, if a corset is made to fit your body, it isn’t bad to wear. How tight you wear a corset is your business. If I want to, I can take 2 inches of my waist in a corset. It isn’t all the comfy, but I can do it. And guys, you are not out on this corset thing. Men used to wear them too. Small waists with broad shoulders were ‘in’ for men. Corsets helped men achieve that look. Now, a corset is more for sex play, CosPlay, Gothic and the like.

After the corset, came bras. The brassiere ¬†was designed by a man (of course!). As the 20’s roared in, corsets roared out. With the help of the bra, and Coco Chanel, the corset died a slow death in everyday womenswear. Hooray for our side! We won a small battle with fashion front.

After that, ladies underthings changed, morphed, grew larger, grew smaller, changed materials and all sorts of other things. We now have bikinis, hipsters, briefs, low-cut briefs (an old lady name for hipsters?), hi-cut briefs and the thong. Bras too, have changed. There are padded, unpadded, push-up, separating, underwire, no underwire, stretchy, lace, silk, animal print….the list goes on and on.

Men like tiny underthings. Or so they say. After years of conditioning by Victoria and her lack of Secrets,

victorias-secret

men will tell you they prefer the thong or bikini with a pretty bra that matches. I suppose we are expected to parade around in those things in our high heels with wings on our backs. But I doubt that happens much in the real world. But women being women, will go for whatever the fashion trend is. So they buy the thongs and pretty bras to impress the boyfriend or husband. We all want to look cute when the time comes to…….well, you know. Yet my experience has been that the guys look at the underwear for about 0.1 100th of a second. They aren’t interested in the underwear. They interested in whats UNDER the underwear. So that $50 thong gets flung across the room with little attention paid to it. Well, that was money well spent.

But all in all, underwear is not a topic for discussion. Especially on a date, or on a telephone meet n’ greet. My underwear just isn’t your business. Unless I make it so (wow! A Jean Luc Picard moment in a blog about underwear! who’da thunk it).

In that conversation I had a couple of weeks back, Mr. Insecure-How-Far-Can-I-Push-This-Conversation had the nerve to ask me about my underwear. We had been talking for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Now, a lot of women would have been insulted, unnerved or creeped out by this. I’m pretty sure many would have called him a few choice names then hung up. Some may have sputtered and fluttered and answered him because he would have pointed out their issues with certain topics and made them feel wretched about themselves if they didn’t answer. My response?

I gleefully told him all about my beige, cotton granny panties and stretchy AH bra. I even threw in the information that my cotton panties came in black (the sexy ones), dusty pink, mauve, green and one pair with flowers.

It may be a long time before he asks any woman about her underwear again.

Mission accomplished.