A New Career?

Published April 27, 2017 by mindfulofchatter

I am not particularly happy with my job. My immediate supervisor has no experience doing the job she manages. This leads some ridiculous scheduling, and impossible work loads to deal with. But the other day, whilst in the middle of cleaning a room, I had a thought.

Why not become a paid convention speaker and talk about housekeeping?

You know, basically get paid to shame the audience who traveled to the convention and is now staying at local hotels. All done with love and humor, of course. Sort of….well….maybe…okay – mostly with love and humor.

Just imagine – a convention for *insert your occupation here*, all gathered together to discuss all the ups and downs of working in the *insert your occupation here* field. When a one the colleagues takes to the stage to introduce the next speaker;

‘Ladies and Gentleman. Welcome the *insert your occupation here* annual convention. Tonight we pleased to have with us here tonight, a very special speaker. She is here to speak to you all about hotel housekeeping and hotel guests. Please welcome, Mind Full of Chatter.’

You can hear it can’t you? The murmurs of the audience as they think…

What the hell kind of name is Mind Full of Chatter?

Why the hell is she here at an *insert your occupation here* convention to talk about hotel housekeeping?

What on earth can be said about housekeeping? That’s kinda of boring, isn’t it?

And then the slow dawning, and fidgeting, of several audience members as they realize will be outed for being the worst hotel guests ever. Because no one wants hear about their own apparent inability to put trash in a trash can, change out their own toilet paper and flush their own toilet when staying at a hotel.

The Intentional Mess Makers will all fidget and cough. Some will try to sneak out. Others will suddenly be very interested in anything other than making eye contact with anyone else. A few will try to hide in their coffee cups and hope no one realizes they are the ones being spoken about.

The Unintentional Mess Makers will nervously laugh and spill their coffee. They will covertly glance around to see if anyone noticed they spilled their coffee, thus spilling more coffee and leaving drip marks all down the fronts of their shirts. They will then try to sop up the mess they made with a napkin, only to make a slightly larger mess.

The Neat Nics will look satisfied with themselves. Some will turn the person next to them to tell them all about the last tip they left. Others will simply smile and nod knowingly. A few will try to help The Unintentional Mess Makers clean up  their coffee spills.

Most everyone will laugh nervously (because I am hilarious) and glance around trying to identify whomever I am currently speaking about. In the end they applaud – because they don’t know what else to do.

And I will be paid to shut up and go on my merry way, leaving the audience of the *insert your occupation here* convention to go back to their hotel rooms, clean up their messes, change out their own toilet paper, flush their own toilets, and leave a tip for the housekeeper so they don’t feel so guilty about their own poor behavior.

Sounds like a win win to me.

 

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