All posts for the month January, 2017

Questions From The Dating Site

Published January 30, 2017 by mindfulofchatter


It’s that time once again. Time to see how many times I can be rejected by men I don’t know and will never meet. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? I need to work on my game show host voice.

To be fair, I know pretty much what is going to happen going in. I don’t expect to meet anyone, really. I have met a few very nice men through dating sites, but no one who has been ‘the guy’. I list the dating site in my ‘Entertainment’ bookmarks because all in all, I do find it entertaining.

What I will never, ever understand is you men and your approach to dating. Especially online dating. Is there something about online dating that makes you kinda stupid? I am over fifty and I tend to expect the men in my age range to have a little going on than a twenty year old. How silly of me.

These are actual questions sent to me by men looking ‘get to know me’.

U R pretty. U have a really nice smile. I think we have a chance at a long-term relationship.

I have to say that I abhor the use of letters for words. My issue completely. But I am pretty sure a nice smile isn’t the basis for a long-term relationship.

I want to get to know you. Tell me all about your childhood.

Uh. No. And why would you ever ask that right off the bat? That’s just creepy.

Do you like oral pleasure? (after a handful of communication back and forth)

Chocolate cake and silk pies are good. (Yup. That was my response)

I’m in the military, serving in Afganistan. Do you like men in unform?

I may, but I find it odd that you are in the military when your profile says you use a cane and sometimes a wheelchair due your cerebral palsy. (I was blocked by this user when I asked him what time it was in Afganistan)

How tall are you?

I am the same height I listed on my profile. Do you guys ever actually read those things?

Why are you single?

I don’t know. Maybe I can’t find someone who engages in actual conversation without making references to sex in every other message. Why are you single? That street goes both ways.

What are your interests?

Again, the main ones are listed in my profile. In fact, there is a whole section that is nothing but a list of interests. Seriously, you guys need to read these things.

Yes, I am serious. These are messages I have received by men looking for a date or a wife. So far, I have a whole lot of WTF? going on in my head. Who would ask these kinds of questions? Would you ask this crap to my face if you met me on the street? It’s sad and amusing at the same time.

I know I am not a good match for the typical man in his fifties or early sixties. I’m a little odd. I like a lot of different things. I’m pretty intelligent (well, most of the time). I love superhero movies and make after life fairies for my friends. I have gargoyles (uh, not ones that fly, just small figurines). I think a fun date is making Lego people from a big bin of Lego people parts. I listen to music made after 1980.

I know. Where the hell do I get off being so flippin’ interesting?


It’s Only Politics

Published January 16, 2017 by mindfulofchatter

I am tired. Tired of the screaming. The hate. The name calling. I am tired of all the political baloney. All of it.

Not everyone voted for Trump. Not everyone voted for Clinton. A lot of people voted for neither. All of the screaming at each other needs to stop.

Who you voted for no longer matters. It’s over. It’s done. There is a person will step up and take an oath. He will be become our president. It doesn’t matter if you march in streets, or carry a sign, or scream at your neighbour. This man will become president of the United States.

Stop treating every little ‘news’ item as gospel. Ask questions. Do research. If you feel you can’t trust the media, then don’t. Learn for yourself.


Do I need to say this?
Do I need to say this right now?
Do I need to call someone names simply because I am sitting safe and snug at my keyboard?

There a lot of people who criticize the president-elect about his seemingly inability take any criticism and or handle others poking fun at him. And yet, here we are doing the some thing. Both sides are reacting in the same manner. So how is it anyone can call foul when the president elect does it? (yes, I get the he should be above it, but still)

I suggest rather than continuing the hatred, the screaming and crying, we support each other. As Americans. As individuals who are allowed to vote the person of their choice. We can agree to disagree. We are in this together. For better. For worse. We are going to need each other down road.

So step up. Stop reacting. Stop the yelling. Stop the name calling. Be the one who calls the truce. Be the one can agree to disagree. Walk away from ridiculous articles. Walk away from the comments section.  If you don’t agree with something, find a way to make a difference. Just for the record – name calling isn’t making a difference. Neither is screaming at other people.

So let it go. Make some peace.

After all, it’s only politics.



Safeway Hates Tea Drinkers

Published January 13, 2017 by mindfulofchatter


As I mentioned previously, I am finding living on the coast a bit difficult. The town I live in is small and a tourist town. This means we have over inflated prices on a lot things – like rents. My roommate and I pay a ridiculously high rent on an extremely tiny, crappy apartment.

There is also a lack of places to shop within the town itself. We have one grocery store. One. It’s a Safeway. I dislike Safeway for a number of reasons, the foremost being its complete inability to stock a powdered chai mix. As it is, they only carry two brands of chai mix and they are both the kind you have mix with hot milk. I don’t have a milk steamer, and I’d rather not break out the saucepan every time I’d like a cup of hot chai (how horribly lazy of me, I know). The majority of the aisle is coffee. Mostly bags of beans and bags of grounds. But a good portion of that aisle are those damn keurig cups. I am talking close half of the coffee/tea aisle.

I wrote to Safeway, as the cashiers suggest you do when you’d like to see something in the store, and asked them about their stark refusal to carry powdered chai. I even included several brands as a suggestion.  The response I got was almost hilarious. Safeway, a huge chain store, asked me for the products codes of the brands I may like to see in their stores. Honestly Safeway, you can’t look them up on you own? You don’t have access to finding the product codes? I call bullshit.

But I took the cans I had and dutifully sent back the product codes. Their response?

Please contact the store manager at your local Safeway. This is a company Safeway can order from. Please ask the manager to order this product for you. Due to shelf space, you may be required to purchase the entire case.

Due to shelf space? Buy the entire case? Hey Safeway, how YOU stop stocking every known keurig flavour known to mankind and create a little shelf space for the people who don’t drink coffee and who don’t have keurig machines.

This not an issue at only this small town Safeway. Every Safeway I have ever been to does not stock any powdered chai mixes. None. I don’t know why they have chosen to ignore the fact that you can’t travel with a mix the needs refrigerated very easily, or that the majority of people do not own a milk steamer (or a keurig machine), but they have.

I find that offering to order a product on a customer request is great. Unless you are requiring that customer to buy any and all cases ordered – at the retail price. Unless the customer is asking for a one time thing, this is insane. Especially when being told to contact corporate about stocking a new item. Stocking. As in on a regular basis.

Please, Safeway, stop. Just stop. While I understand you can’t stock everything everyone wants, telling the customer to contact corporate about stocking an item, then telling that customer ‘Okie dokie, we can do that – as long as you buy a full case’ is not providing service. So just stop telling your cashiers to tell people to contact you regarding new items. You don’t intend to stock them. You don’t intend to really solve the issue. So just stop. Just. Stop.

Oh, and at providing at least one powdered chai mix really isn’t going to screw up your love affair with keurig cups. Really.

Living on The Coast

Published January 6, 2017 by mindfulofchatter



A month has passed. It seemed to blink by when I wasn’t looking. Time seems to like slip and slither past when you aren’t looking. It gets sneakier as you get older.

I have never been a big beach person. Going to the beach was something I did on occasion with my friends when I was a kid and later as a teen. I’ve done my share of swimming and body surfing in the waters of Carpenteria and Leo Carrillo beaches. It was fun, but never something I longed to do or begged my friends and parents to do. Moving to southern Oregon meant I was within striking distance of the coast once again.

My first years here were filled with raising kids and going to the coast didn’t happen. I moved away and came back 11 years later. The first few years I was back, I was married to a man who rode motorcycles. We were part of a group that rode every week. We often went to the Oregon coast for lunch.

For me it was a long ride to go someplace that was often foggy and cold with drizzle. I had had my share of wet, nasty motorcycle rides in Minnesota where it stormed all summer. I am not a seafood lover, so the whole coast thing often seemed pointless to me.

And now I live three block from the beach.

My short stint in Port Townsend, Washington taught me that a dog and beach make a good match. In Washington, the beaches were rocky and there lots things to find. Arty and I once found a huge, purple starfish in a tide pool. I found clams that still held the resident creature, the barnacles on the rocks at low tide were alive, there were crabs skittering around and sometimes other sea creatures were caught in pools for the finding. It made walking the beach fun and interesting. Arty had room to gallop like the wind and logs to leap over as she ran.

Port Townsend stands along the Strait of San Juan de Fuca, the strait that leads to the Puget Sound and Seattle. There are few waves, and the ones that come are small. The tides roll out a long way, leaving much to explore and things to see.

This place is far, far different.

We walk to the beach and cross a stretch of tall, coarse grass to get to the sand. The sand is flat and vacant. There are a few logs washed ashore, but not many. When it is stormy, the waves break one upon the other, and they break farther out than I have ever seen waves break. There are rows upon rows and breaking waves. I counted six rows one day. The wind can be biting cold as it screams in off the open waters.

Today, though it was still cold, the winds were calmer. The waves were small and fewer. The tide was out so the walk to the water was longer than usual. I imagine this how it will look in the summer when the storms have become less frequent.

But it is a dull beach. There are no rocks. No tide pools. Only flat sand stretching its arms in both directions. The shells that wash ashore are mostly broken. They are all the same kind. There are also the bits and pieces of what once were crabs lying scattered all over. Sand dollars are everywhere, but all are broken and smashed.

It not a good beach to look for shells, or living creatures. It is not a good beach for leaping over logs.

It is good for walking. For looking at the waves as they roll in. For watching the gulls wheel and dive. For watching the little sand pipers running in the water as it rolls its way back to join the rest of the sea. It good for Arty to run like the wind on the sand and in the tall grasses. She rarely leaps over the logs because they are so few.

But it is a dull beach.

Summer will see it filled with tourists and the walks will be harder. Arty won’t be able to run off lead because the people will fill the sand, the promenade, and paths in the tall grass.

I will learn how to live here. I will adapt. I have done so many times in my life. A girl from sunny Southern California learned to live in Minnesota. She can learn to live on the coast.

After all, it’s a new year. A new life.

The New Year Cometh

Published January 1, 2017 by mindfulofchatter



The new year has not yet arrived to my little part of the world. There are still hours left before that west coast ball drops and the year is officially welcomed in.

I have no plans this evening. I have no one to pass the time with. I have no traditions to perform. I doubt I will be awake when the hour is struck and the year turns anew.

2016 was not good year. It was full of hardships and sadness. Looking back I can’t remember even a brief moment of joy and happiness. The losses added up to be a heavy burden on my heart and soul. I am not sad to see 2016 turn itself away and leave.

I know many people will say to look at the strength I found. But I didn’t find any new strength. It was always there, and has always been there. My life has twisted and turned a great many times over the years. I have always found the strength to move on, move forward. It simply gets harder as I get older. I suppose the best thing about 2016 is ending it with a roof over my head. The roof is over a horrible little apartment with two people and their things crammed inside, but there is a roof. And food. And heat. And best of all, Arty, my wonderful four-legged companion.

I don’t know what 2107 will bring. It may be better. It may be simply a continuation of 2016. I simply have no idea what’s in store. I will do my best to face each challenge as it comes, to get up when I stumble, to do what needs to done to survive one more week. I can not think much further ahead than that at the moment. Next week. Next week will be next year. And it all begins anew.

I may be battered, but I’m still standing.