From time to time I think about having a male companion in my life. It would be nice to have someone to go out with and share things with, someone to cuddle up on the sofa with. When I get this feeling, all I have to do is go to Craigslist and I am reminded instantly why I prefer to be alone.
There are an amazing number of married men looking for affairs. They claim everything from a wife who works too many hours to a wife who hates sex. I often wonder why the wife hates sex. Perhaps, gentleman, it is not sex she hates, only sex with you. Not to mention that there are no reasons you guys can come up with that will ever justify cheating on your wife. None. If you are not happy, leave.
Then there are the men who want very specific things.
This guy claims to be a REAL man:
I desire an amazing bond with a grace-filled, non-bratty/princess-type female who craves learning about or being very submissive. I seek an amazing, LTR with a female who cherishes and craves My intellect, advice, wisdom, tenderness and My naturally dominant nature.
And he signs this ‘Your Sir’.
While this may be a matter of taste, it does not ring as something a REAL man would look for. If you are, indeed, a ‘real’ man, wouldn’t you prefer someone who you feel is equal to you? Someone who is with you because they choose to be, not because you make them feel they have to be? Oh, and this guy also wants a younger woman. You know, one he can train.
And there are these guys. The men who insist his woman be in perfect shape, not matter what her age.
And if you’ve let yourself go to the point of embracing the whole oxymoron of BBW, there’s little chance for us. You’ve maintained as I have to keep a reasonably fit body. Passing up those Twinkies is paying off now. Now might be the time to say I’m a smoker albeit a considerate one. Never indoors or near those who don’t smoke. Yet another red flag…
This guy says he is 58. I have to be shape and take care of myself, but he can smoke. The last I heard, smoking wasn’t good for you. So not only do I have to be in shape for him, but I have to either put up with his smoking, or smoke myself. And I am not giving up my Twinkies. Oh wait. I don’t like Twinkies.
There is a guy who has run the same ad for years. Yes, I said years. He lays out exactly who he is looking for – her height, hair colour, eye colour, figure proportions, likes and dislikes. His list is very long, and very complete. I give him kudos for knowing what he wants, but at the same time it gives me chills. It always reads like he trying to replace someone with the exact same model year. Fella, we are not cars. We are all delightfully different.
Many of the men in my age range are looking for a woman in her 20’s or 30’s. These guys always strike me the stereotypical mid-life crisis men trying desperately to turn the clock back to when they were young and more care-free. They won’t even consider a woman their own age range. Probably because we won’t put with their bull shit.
Thank you, Men of Craigslist. You have saved me from listening to how I am not perfect. How I am too tall or too fat or too old. How my hair is too short, or I am too weird, or too loud, or too not-looking-like-Farrah Fawcett-in-the-80’s- when-I-am-57.
It good to remember that I am strong enough, funny enough, smart enough, weird enough and so completely out of your sorry league.
I am perfectly fine the way I am, and you guys can’t be bothered to see that, that’s fine with me.