I mentioned a bit ago that my mind drifted to dating again. I think about it when I get a bit lonely, or would simply like someone to DO things with. Mostly the latter. I can entertain myself, I go to movies alone and I don’t feel odd or awkward about it, I can eat out alone and feel fine about it, I have things I like to do that don’t require a second body. And a friend reminded me of what Irina Dunn once said:
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
And here it is. I don’t need a man. That very fact often makes relationships difficult. Long ago I was newly married. We bought a little house and were working on fixing it up. I wanted glass tub doors rather than a shower curtain. We bought a set at the local hardware store. He went off to work, and I went off to find out how to install them. I bought the proper drill bit, marked out the drill points and installed the doors. I didn’t even crack the tile. Was he happy ? No. He was less than thrilled. That was his job. He could not be happy that I had done it myself. I had shown him I didn’t need him. Many would say that was a mistake, but all these decades later, I stand by my decision to do something I was capable of doing. I would have been happy if he had done the installation, he should have been happy I did it.
I have had friends that find my independence odd. They tell me they could never eat out alone – it’s so sad to see someone who has to eat alone. Who says I have to eat alone? Don’t I eat alone at home? What’s the difference? They could never go to a movie alone – it’s so sad to see someone alone at a theatre. Why is it sad? I find it far sadder to sit your arse home alone rather going out and doing the things you enjoy. Why should I put my life on hold and not do the things I enjoy simply because I don’t have a someone to share them with?
My current unemployed status has put a damper on the going out to things that require money, but not to going out to do things that cost nothing. I walk my dogs along the river, or downtown and window shop. I visit with the people I know who own shops. I am sewing from my stash for events that are still unknown to me. I may as well be prepared.
I am looking at other cities to live in if work does not find me here. I will, if need be, move to a new place where I know no one and make a new life for myself. I will do it with the help a few staunch friends, a little luck and an independent spirit that refuses to go gently into that good night.
I will fly. Even if I have to fly solo.