Let The Food Wars Begin

Published July 8, 2014 by mindfulofchatter




Since settling down with Luke, we have both added a few pounds. This comes from Luke being a wonderful cook, and me being a wonderful muncher. Needles to say, the small battles I won on the fat front are now lost (or is that gained?). But I can get back on track and go forward. Or maybe with weight loss it’s backwards? I dunno. Now I am befuddled.

Now I am the first to admit I hate exercising for exercising’s sake. I am also first to admit that life is uncertain, so dessert ought to be eaten first. And sometimes second. Honestly, I ought to weigh a million pounds.

I decided to do some ‘net research. The  answers I found are astonishing. Hold on to your horses, Lucy. It’s gonna be a rough one! And we’ll all be starving by the end.

No grains. None. Zero. Zip. Nada. Not even the ‘good’ rice (brown, black, mahogany). No wheat, oats, rice, barley, etc., of any kind. I question this whole no gluten thing. Have we humans not been eating some sort of grain for hundreds of years? If it’s so horrible, why are we not extinct? It is whole other matter if one has celiacs disease, but the for the rest of us? This also means no bread (are you freaking kidding me??!!???) or pasta. Okay, okay. No grains.

Nothing that grows below ground. Bid a fond adieu to peanuts, potatoes, carrots, radishes, onions and that lot. I love carrots and potatoes. I know both are now in the ‘no nutritional value’ category for a lot of people. But I question this as well. One camp tells me carrots are no good, while the other tells me they are full of beta carotene and vitamin A. Potatoes suffer the same fate. One camp claims they are worthless, the other trots out all the nutritional stuff. Again; haven’t us humans been eating these things for centuries? Hmmmmmmmm………..but okay. No underground food.

Fruit ought to safe. An apple a day and all that. Right? Wrong! Fruits contain sugars that may cause unhealthy spikes in glucose thus triggering insulin spikes. And the acids in fruits are harmful to your teeth and can cause the enamel to brush away. So no fruit. My list of foods I am ‘allowed’ to eat have gotten quite small.

No red meats. Red meats are bad, bad , bad!!! It is full of fat and cholesterol! Unless it is grass-fed, organic, hormone free, grain free, red meat. Then a little is okay, but let’s not get all crazy have burgers twice a week.

No pork. Pork is horrible! I’m still not sure why, but stay away from pork! No more bacon bits on my salad. No more ham sandwiches at lunch. Oh yeah, no more peanut butter sandwiches either. Drat.

Chicken is okay. As long as it is free range, organic, hormone free, gently killed, skinless, boneless chicken. I can picture this chicken in my head. He’s really funny looking. And how does one gently kill something?

Lamb seems to be okay as along as it is also free range, hormone free, grass-fed, no grains, boneless, skinless, stand on its head for 4 hours a day lamb. Well, okay. Maybe not the last three.

I am now down to a handful of veggies , lots of leafy things and meat with nothing in it. Don’t get me wrong, I love leafy things. But I really do need more than cole slaw, dandelion greens and 1 oz of meat to stay full.

As I kept on reading, I found that eggs are also bad, but good. Nuts are bad, but good. That we can’t get enough vitamin D from the sun, but we also can’t eat enough food to get proper amounts vitamin D. I guess we’re just screwed on vitamin D. (Frankly, I don’t know who puts these numbers together. If I can’t possibly eat all the food required to get the ‘proper’ amount, I’d say the ‘proper’ amount was wrong)

So at the end of my journey I came to this conclusion; We should all just starve. No that wasn’t it. Ah, toss all this crap away. It’s all ridiculous. Eat healthy foods in moderate amounts. Cut back on desserts and sugars and soda. Move every day. Run, walk, jump, swim, ride, clean house – whatever it is you like to do. You’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. We’ll both be healthier and hopefully a bit smaller around.

And stop buying into all the trends. Because that’s all they are – trends.


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