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All posts for the month October, 2013

Best First Date Ever

Published October 30, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

As I stated in my last post, I went to a group get together a couple of weeks ago.

The get together was for the singles group I had joined about a month ago. We are all in the same age bracket (50ish), all single, all looking to meet people our own ages. This is NOT meant to be a dating group. The intent is NOT to hook-up. It is for meeting people in the same age bracket to go do things with. You know, like lunch, concerts, theatre, etc.. It is based in a Facebook page where all the events are posted and ideas are kicked around by the group in large. We all get on pretty well (there is some drama still occurring now and then. I guess some folks thrive on that), joke with each other, make fun of each other and support each other when someone is having a tough time. All in all, it is a pretty darn good group of people.

This event was an art walk. Every year, this little town invites artists to draw in the street with chalk. There is a theme, and the artists may draw from the theme, or choose to do something else. There no hard set rules. Our group set a meeting time and place with the intent to have breakfast together, then view the beginning stages of the art, hang out for a while then go back to see the progress being made on the artwork. There were about 15 ‘yes’ responses from the group. A few did post that they had to cancel which brought us to expect 8 – 10 people.

After all the gung-ho responses, only us three made it. Three. Two of the people who showed up lived in the town where the event was planned. I drove in from my little hamlet a few miles away.

No to be deterred from a good time, we decided to proceed with the plan. Off we trooped for breakfast at a local spot. Even though it was chilly, we elected to sit outside with the girls who ran the pancake grill. We all choose pancakes and sausage. And hot tea. We had a fun breakfast. Lots of laughter and trying each other pancake flavors, joking with the servers and waiting for the sun to find us at our little table. When the checks came, our one and only male scooped them all up and paid them. He laughed and stated we were lucky only three of us came, or we’d have to pay our own bills.

Now we trundled our way to the closed off street to look at the art in progress. Some has begun adding colour, some were still laying out grids, some had a little of both down. It was fun to see the varying stages and to see what they were working on doing (most had a photo or drawing laid out for reference). After that, we wandered around a little bit chatting. Then the other gal said she had to leave. Errands to run, things to done and all that. Off she went, leaving me and the lone male, ‘Luke’, on our own.

Luke asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I had no clue. I didn’t live here and had no idea what there was TO do. So Luke walked with me to the downtown area and pointed out some of the shops that might be fun to look in. So off we went to explore. We nosed around the antique stores, the secondhand shops and the ‘hippie’ store (all tye-dye and incense type stuff). Luke noticed it was lunchtime, and off we went for lunch. After lunch there was more exploring little shops and returning to view the progress of the chalk art (some were very impressive!). Then I ran smack dab into a Lego store. Luke didn’t even know there was a Lego store! (we found out later it was pretty new). I went in straight in, Luke right on my heels. There were bins to play in! Bins of bricks, bins of people bits, bins of all sorts of Legos! You could build something, then buy it if you wanted to. I made a bee-line to the people-parts bin. In no time flat, both of us were elbow deep in Lego people bits. We both built steampunk Lego guys. It took us about 1.5 hours to find all the pieces we wanted and fit them together. Okay, yeah. We were the oldest kids there. But we had a blast. After we had built our guys, Luke plucked my guy out of my hand and bought him for me.

Lego Dude

He even gambled and bought a mystery figure (you don’t know what you get until you open it). We nosed around the store for a while, asked questions, and had fun chatting with the sales clerk.

Now it was getting to be dinner time. Luke invited me to his place to watch a movie. I accepted. He cooked dinner for us.  We watched a movie, talked and laughed late into the night.

Not many men in their 50’s would have spent a day prowling through antique stores and secondhand shops, let alone play in a bin of Lego parts for over an hour. Most would have made excuses of things they needed to do and places they needed to be. They would have left at the first polite opportunity. But Luke did not. And you know what that added up to?

The best date ever.

The Boomerang Effect

Published October 17, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

boomerang

After weeks of not hearing a single word, I received an e-mail message from Mr. Square Dance.  I have to admit, I sat and stared at it stupidly for a bit. No, really. I couldn’t fathom why someone who obviously does have enough interest to bother to write, text or ring would suddenly think I’d want to go out again. I was flabbergasted. Speechless even! My brain just couldn’t make sense of it.

From the time Mr. SD accepted the job as an over-the-road trucker, he has not been in touch. I may as well have dropped into a chasm or been eaten by a Balrog (or whatever it is Balrogs do when they catch us puny humans). I took the hint. He is not as interested as he had seemed. He has no place in his life for a significant other. Okay. Move forward. No a big deal in my book. Disappointed, yes. Devastated, no. I figured he showed his true colors. That other shoe I waiting to hear drop, fell with a loud THUD!

And yet, there sat an e-mail from him in my inbox. Waiting patiently to be read and possibly responded to. It crossed my mind to just delete it with no further ado. But I am a curious thing. Deathly curiosity be damned! I opened it.

How about dinner and a dance on Saturday?

Had I been drinking something, there would have been a spit take and nose blow. No word for weeks. Yes, literally weeks. And now, all of a sudden, an invitation out. No apology for not keeping in touch. No explanation. Just an out of the blue invitation to go out. Are you freakin’ kidding me?

I mulled this over for a few minutes. Not accepting it, mind you, but answering it. I had a few options here. I could accept and have a night out dining and dancing. I could tell him where to stick his dinner, then try to dance all on his own. I tell him to simply piss off. I could completely ignore the entire e-mail and hit ‘delete’. Hmmmmmmm…………….let me think.

I took the ‘high road’. I told him the truth. I already had plans with a group that day, and would be in the next town over all day. I didn’t know when the group thing would end, because we had made loose plans with no real finish. In short, I was politely telling him no.

He replied;

But the dance in is that town. You could just meet me somewhere after your group thing is done.

Seriously? Had I wanted to see him again, I would have gone to the group get together and left early enough to come home and get ready to go out. Why could he NOT see that? Did he think I was so hard up for a date that he could just reappear in my life whenever and I’d jump up and down and spit nickels? Or is he simply that dense.

Me:

We’re going as a group. I have no control over when I will be able to leave. There was talk of lunch and perhaps dinner. I don’t see how I can haul my dance stuff along (he wanted to go square dancing) and find a place to change.

Him:

You can change at the hall. Lots of the girls do that because they are coming from work.

Okay, now I am getting peeved. I have tried to be nice. I have stated I AM BUSY.  I have said I WILL NOT BE HOME (as in BUSY). And he is still trying to figure out a way to make this date a go. Maybe I should have stuck to the tried and true ‘I have to wash my hair.’ or ‘I’m sorry. I broke both legs, an arm and finger so I can’t dance.’ But knowing him, he’d tell he could help me wash my hair, or he’d man the wheelchair at the dance. Either way, I’d be on a date I didn’t want to be on. Rats.

Believe it or not, I do not enjoy being mean. Snarky, yes. Plain old mean, no. So I gathered my magic robe of snarky and sarcastic responses around me and prepared to answer him one last time. As a response began to form, another e-mail appeared:

I’m being sent to Montana, so you are off the hook.

Off the hook? What hook? I have been telling you all along I AM BUSY!  Had I changed my plans and had gone out with him, I would have been left holding the empty leftovers bag.

It has been 2 1/2 weeks since that exchange. Guess how many times I have heard from him? No, go on. Guess. Did you all guess zero? ding! ding! ding! ding! You all win a prize! (Restrictions may vary. Title ,tax and licensing fees may apply. See entry form for details). Not one word since. No text, not calls no e-mail. He has been deleted from my databases (actually, I deleted him weeks ago, but this sounded so good I had to add it in). He done. Gone. History.

Me? I went to the group get together. Only three people showed up. We had a very good time. One gal left early in the day, leaving me and the one man together. We spent the rest of the day together having a blast.

But that is another story.

New To A Singles Group. Let The Drama Begin!

Published October 3, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

singles

So after the seeming demise of a potential relationship, I decided to join a 50’s and singles group. The woman who put it together was simply looking for a way to meet others her age. This NOT a dating site. It is a place where we meet and chat, plan get togethers and tease each other into tears of laughter. I have been to one get together and met some very nice and fun people. We have two more coming up and I hope to attended both functions and meet a few more new folks.

But all is not sunny in the land of singles banter. As always there is one or two who MUST make it known that they DO NOT approve of the banter they have read.

You put a bunch of humans together to talk, or in this case comment back and forth, and you are going to get a few very silly people (not ME, of course. We all know how sane and shy I am) going at each other in fun. Add to this the fact some of us have met face to face, increasing our familiarity with each other, and all hell will, indeed, break loose.

It began in all innocence with a member talking about a roast he was preparing for a wedding reception. A pork roast that would turned into pulled pork. Making this requires the roast to be pulled from the oven and allowed to rest. It really doesn’t take much imagination to see this turning into double entendres, now does it? And so they flew back and forth, well into the evening. Those of us involved were laughing so friggin’ hard we could barely type. And to be honest, a few were seated at their computers with beer or wine to help loosen their tongues.  Yeah. I see you sniggering over. Stop that.

Or don’t.

The next day, a ‘new’ member posted a long tirade. She mentioned how liberal she was. That she was open-minded. How  she was a Harley rider and had her CDL so she KNEW all about rough language and sexual innuendo (Honestly? About now I stopped really reading. It all turned in blah, blah, blah. I had to go back and re-read). But we, by golly, had sicken her (yay for us!. I mean, ooohhhh………so sorry). She had never, ever read such sick crap before. She was a lady (dammit), and wanted to be treated like one. Not like some object. What we had written to each other was horrible. And how DARE some us admit that we may be looking for something more than just friends. My GOD, what horrible, nasty, sickos we all were. And if we started dating each other, there would be drama, and she was so NOT into drama (Really? Cause you’re bein’ kind of a drama queen at the moment).

And so on.

The kicker? This woman has never once written one comment. She has never once contacted any of the administrators to complain. And yet, she is horrified at all the things she has read (but she keeps on reading those comments, doesn’t she). Yet she is very liberal and opened minded. She felt the need to tell us all that repeatedly. You know, in case we missed it the first 50 times she stated it.

Okay folks, here’s the thing. You put a bunch of single people together and they are going to date each other. There will be fits of jealousy, a few hurt feelings and snit fits along the way. It is the nature of the beast. Age does not limit this, nor stop it. Grow up. Get over yourself. If you like man A, but he likes woman C, just put on the big girl pants and move on. If things don’t work out, you may get another shot. You not. So go talk to Man L in the meantime. Maybe he’s a better fit for you anyway.

This is the nature of a singles group. If you join one and don’t like it. Just leave. Don’t make a scene. If you are on a page, like I am, and don’t like the comments. Don’t read them. It’s not that tough. Honest. You even can click ‘leave group’ without a snit fit. It’s been done. It can be done again.

 Our Lady of The Open Mind? She asked how to leave the group. I gave the directions on how to do that. And didn’t even say ‘Don’t let the door hit you on your way out!’ with my outside voice.

Yeah. I’m proud of me too.