Even though it’s only Thursday, I feel the weekend coming up like runaway train. For me, it will be another weekend of finding ways to fill the time with things I enjoy doing on my own.
Being single is one of those odd things. As Taylor Swifter wrote: We are happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It is amazing how true that is, not matter what your age.
I am not unhappy with being single. I am free to pursue the things I enjoy without having anyone tell me they are dumb, too expensive or boring. I am often confused as to why I can’t find one other (single) person who wishes to share these things with me. I know I may be a bit on the nerdy side, but so what? One would think I could find a suitable male humanoid with similar interests. I do get lonely. After a few years of doing things mostly alone, I’d like someone else to make fun of, er, talk to.
If I were in my 20’s in this situation, all of my girl friends would be setting up with some guy every weekend. And I’d be groaning at the thought of endless blinds dates. But at this point in my life, my girl friends are all married, or in new relationships, and no one knows anyone to set me up with. The men they know are married, or idiots (their words) or otherwise unsuitable for me in some way or another.
One of the problems/good things with being older and single, is the fact that you NOW have a better feel of who you are. You know what you will and won’t tolerate. You know your deal breakers are and will walk away without a second thought (Dr. Jekyll comes to mind). Most of us no longer have other distractions, such as children underfoot. This means our potential other has our full attention and that makes hiding things a wee bit tougher.
We are more picky. We pay more attention to the things that bug us. We listen to the words between the lines. We watch as actions speak louder than words. We notice when our date seems to be hung up on an ex. Or just a nutcase. Or weird in not a good way.
The good things at being over 50 and single?
We notice our date. We listen to what he has to say. We notice the way he draws with his fingertips on the table as he talks. That he is intelligent (or not). That he has an odd sense humor we enjoy (or no sense humor at all). That he can laugh at his past and appreciate our past screw-ups. That while he may be nervous, he is willing to stay and give things a try. Even if it’s only for an hour lunch date.
It’s almost scarier than dating in your 20’s when you were just happy the cute dude asked you out and now you’re so nervous you notice nothing (except that he is cute and with YOU on a date). *insert silly giggling here*
So I will sit and run through the things I may want to do this weekend. I’ll peruse the ‘net for local activities and see whats shakin’ in the outside world. There may be something going on I can attend alone and not look too odd. Well, any odder than usual. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get a decent ‘ping’ on one of the dating sites and have a date for something. I’ll cross my fingers, but I won’t hold my breath. I don’t look all that good with blue lips and a red face.
All in all, I’d like to be loved again. Like the English people love their spliffs and curry, like a kid loves money from the tooth fairy, like Chewbacca loves Han Solo.
Or something like that.