I have been single for a while now. More than a while, more like 4 years. In those 4 years I have had maybe a handful of real dates. I don’t count meet n’ greets as dates. I am signed up on a couple of the free dating sites. I don’t use the paid ones because they are all the same. The same people are on most of the sites, the ‘matching’ is crap and a waste of time (they never it even remotely right) and none of them really weed out the creepers or the fake profiles. So why pay for the misery? Um, I mean service.
I read through personal ads mostly for fun. I rarely write to anyone. Most of the personal ads are gross (I’m looking for a woman who likes to be licked) or just married men looking for affairs (back to the ‘I have no love at home. wah! wah! wah! ‘Grow up fellas, you married her. Deal with the problems or get a divorce). There are a few who sound like they may be looking for a real relationship, but have added so many parameters not even a real goddess could pass the tests. I shared with you the ad where the man lists all the qualities he wants. From height to hair color, weight to interests, he’s got it all mapped out. He’s going to be alone for long time unless he can manage a little wiggle room. One of the latest ads states ‘If you can’t run a mile without gasping for air, don’t bother to respond.’ Okay. Miss out on great gal because she has asthma or something that prevents her from running. He never states HE can run a mile without gasping for breath, so why do I need to? (To be honest, I hate to run. I will not be running a mile anytime soon. Unless the zombie apocalypse comes and I really need the cardio. See Rule #1)
I understand there are a lot of very large/obese people out there. I understand a lot of people want a partner who can be active. But this trend of having to have an über fit person to DATE is ridiculous. You guys ever think that if you take a lady out and get her moving, she’ll get more fit? No? Try it. You may find the woman of your dreams in a slightly chubby package. I do not weigh over 300 pounds. I’m not even at 200 pounds. I AM a little chubby. Guess what? If I had someone to go out with, I’d be out hiking/swimming/walking/ whatever a lot more often. And I’d get fitter and trimmer. See how that works?
Some of my dating profile peeves/ads are:
Must be HWP.
This means height/weight proportionate. Sounds reasonable until you realize the people using this term have no clue what HWP actually is. They forget overall build plays a part. Being 5’10” and 130 lbs is NOT HWP. It’s just plain gross. Welcome the walking skeleton.
Loves 80’s music.
Seriously. What is it with the 80’s music! Was Boy George all that different and earth shaking? Did Madonna really change your life? Was Earth, Wind and Fire really all that and a bag of chips? Yes, I still like a lot of songs from the 80’s. But let’s move forward and mix in some current tunes as well.
No tattoos or piercings.
I get this one. But what about the folks who got tattoos eons ago and arent’ covered in them? Are we automatically out of the running because we got a small tattoo 30 some odd years ago? Maybe this should be stated more along the lines of ‘I don’t like a woman(man) covered in tattoos and piercings.’ Geez, one tiny butterfly and you hate my guts without ever meeting me. Kinda harsh there, dude.
Must be fit
I covered this one above. Fit can a lot of things and stages. I can ‘out yoga’ a guy 30 years younger than me. So I am farily fit, but I can’t run a mile. I have a female friend who out ride me on a bicycle, but lags a bit when she rides with people who have ridden longer than she has. Is she fit? Yep.
Must be between age A and age B
Okay. I understand this one too. I don’t want to date someone my sons age. Nor do I want to date a man in his 70’s. This irks me when it’s a man who is 56 and wants a woman between 27 and 40. Pretty much anyone who is looking for someone 15 – 20+ years younger. Yeah, yeah. I’m ‘young at heart’ too, but I’m not looking to date my kid’s friends. And unless she has serious ‘daddy issues’, she doesn’t want to date your old arse either.
So I am a bit frustrated with the whole dating thing. I’m not super picky about looks. We are all gonna look like Ernest Borgnine one day. I can deal with a few extra pounds, hair is nice but bald is not a deal breaker (after all, Yul Brenner was a hottie) and I only ask that someone is my height or taller. While I like the over 6 footers, I don’t have to have one. I do want someone who showers on a regular basis, knows how to shave (I hate the stubble look) and can laugh his ass off at himself or at me (I’m a dork). And shares my slight nerdiness.
You would think this wouldn’t be so difficult.