The Pie-Guy Meet-Up

Published July 23, 2013 by mindfulofchatter


I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. ~ Groucho Marx

I had my meet-up date with the man who simply wrote ‘I’d like to meet you’. We had shortish telephone conversation beforehand, and he said he liked pie. I suggested a local restaurant that bakes its pies fresh everyday. He asked if they had fresh peach pie. I told him I didn’t know what they had today, but we would find out. Since Pie Guy is new to my area, I gave him easy directions from the intersection near his apartment. I told him I would wait inside (No way I am standing in a parking lot in 100 degree heat to wait on someone) but watch for him if I got there first.

I arrived first, and because I know the staff and the owner there, they went ahead and got a table ready for us. They had my iced tea waiting at the table! It’s nice to have ‘connections’.                                                                                                                                     (Note: this means I eat there far too often and they have gotten to know me far too well)

I kept an eye out for the car Pie Guy said he drove, and sure enough I saw him pull into the parking lot a few minutes after our set time. I went to meet him at the front door.

And the first red flag popped up (This wasn’t the ‘creeper’ red flag. This was the ‘this is NOT going to work out’ red flag).

Pie Guy is 8 years older than I am. This is a tad more years between than I generally care for, but I am always willing to give someone who sounds interesting a chance. We all know by now I am not the average 54-year-old. At least mentally. So watching Pie Guy exit his car in the manner that old, old men do was a rather large red flag for me. He scooted himself to the edge of his seat, put both feet on the pavement and rocked himself a bit to get upright and standing. I spent 3 years watching 80 year olds do that same move. Pie Guy also had the ‘old man walk’. You know the one I mean. They start off a little shaky and move like they may fall over for the first few steps? Yeah, that one. Pie Guy walked like that.

I met him at the door and we went to our table. Menus were brought, drinks offered and served. Pie Guy looked the menu over and stated he was picky about what he ate, so I pointed out the wraps and salads to him. He eventually decided to just have pie.

That decision led to red flag number 2.

They did, indeed, have fresh peach pie. But Pie Guy had a few questions. Let the interrogation begin!

Is there a pie menu? No, the pies are made fresh every day, so it is seasonal and baker’s choice every day.

Where does the fruit came from? It is locally grown fruit from a local farm.

Do all the fruit pies have that glaze? Yes. Except for the apple pie. It has a top crust.

Can I get the peach pie without the glaze? No

Can we go look at the pies in the case? Yes.

So off he went with our server to the pie case. She very patiently went over all the pies they had that day, how they were prepared, and where the fruit came from.

It took the man 20 minutes of interrogating our server to decide which pie to have. Oh. My. God. It’s pie. None of it is ‘good’ for you. Just shut up and pick a slice.

Once the whole pie debacle was over, Pie Guy slid back into the booth so we could chat.

He noticed the pendant I was wearing:


Pie Guy asked me what it said and I told him, also explaining it was a Dr. Who thing. He didn’t know what/who Dr. Who was, so I gave the ultra short version (BBC TV show – man with time traveling machine).

And he asked ‘Why do you wear that?’

By now I am ready to bang my head against the booth table. I have watched this guy take 20 minutes to order one slice of pie. I have listened to him interrogate our server over ingredients and preparation. And now he can’t figure out why I wear this silly little trinket of a tribute? To me, it is obvious. I wear the pendant because I am a fan of the show. I like Dr. Who. I think the necklace is a fun, silly little thing to wear. Like, duh.

He latched onto the fact that I sew and have made costumes. He insisted (rather strongly) that I do that for a living. In spite of the fact that I stated I don’t want to do that, he kept at it. He went to far as to be ‘upset’ that I didn’t want to ‘make a ton of money’. (I already know how that costuming for money market is. Not that Pie Guy would listen to me)

 The rest of the meet up was okay. Pie Guy is an okay guy. He has traveled a lot and shared some of those adventures. He is articulate and intelligent. He mentioned he moves around a lot (not really something I’d share when looking for a long-term relationship). But he has no sense of humor. Or none I could find. A few smiles, but no laughs. I had to restrain myself from leaning across the table and saying (in my best Joker Voice):

Why. So. Serious.

He probably wouldn’t have gotten that either. (sigh)

So Pie Guy is not for me. Overall, we had a nice little visit and I got a piece if my favorite pie (it took me about 0.2 seconds to decide and order my slice of heaven). It didn’t kill me to talk to the man. I met a new person and heard some neat little stories.

Now I am ready for the next meet up.


2 comments on “The Pie-Guy Meet-Up

    • If he had just wanted to know the little things, such as if the fruit was fresh, I would have understood. But the interrogation of is it fresh, where is it from, how is it made was taking things a tad far.

      Oh well, onward we travel!

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