Re-instating The Online Dating Presence

Published July 20, 2013 by mindfulofchatter


After much hemming and hawing (I think crows do that too. Maybe crows do hemming and cawing), I decided to re-instate my online presence on the dating site. I altered my profile a bit and changed my moniker, added a few pics and sat back. I’d say ‘waited for the full inbox’, but that never happens.

I never get a ton of responses. Why? Because I write about who I really am, not what I think the men may want to hear. There are no flowery phrases promising long nights of cooking and cleaning. I figure if who I am isn’t what they want, then I am not interested. The brave ones will take a chance and write. The not so brave ones will hit ‘yes’ on ‘meet me’ and nothing more. I don’t write to the ‘meet me’ guys. If they are too chicken to just friggin’ write me a note, then I doubt they have the guts to deal with me in person. Let’s face it. I am not quiet, shy or retiring. Nor am I petite. I am someone who laughs a lot and possesses vast amounts of useless information with a slightly odd sense of humor.

After a few ‘meet me’ alerts (and deletes), I have someone who simply wrote and said ‘I’d like to meet you.’  I read his profile and looked through his photos. He seems fine to meet. I have no idea if we will mesh, but the time it takes for ice cream (his idea of a meet n’ greet – yippee!) will not kill me. I’ll just avoid the elderberry wine and window seats, and stick to a sundae.

I sent him a short note back. Then nothing. Changed his mind? Nope. I got a nice note from him today telling me a little about his internet issues. And an apology for not getting back to me sooner. He took responsibility for his failure to send a note sooner. (Dr. Jekyll could learn a thing or two from this guy) He included his phone number so I could ring him and we could talk a bit and set up a meeting (I haven’t rang him yet, but I will).

I also got a note from another man who is looking for the tried and tested ‘dinner and a movie’ date. I don’t really get the movie part of these things. You can’t talk to each other during a movie. You go, sit in the dark and watch the movie. Maybe you eat popcorn. But you can’t really get to know someone at the movies. After you have been dating for a while, movies are great. I am all for plopping down next to someone I know (and can throw popcorn at), sharing (tossing) popcorn and sipping a drink. After a few dates, you have a better feel for each other and the silence of movie watching isn’t odd or weird. You don’t feel like your date is watching you to see how you react to the film.

Okay, let me explain the popcorn thing. There are rules to popcorn throwing. 1) You never throw buttered popcorn. It stains anything and everything. So if you are gonna throw popcorn , it has to be unbuttered. 2) you are only allowed to throw popcorn at people in your immediate party. There is no chucking it halfway across the theatre, or at strangers (as in people you don’t know). 3) you only throw a couple of pieces at a time. We aren’t out to waste the whole bucket. Simple rules, loads of fun. Especially when a bit of popcorn lands in an ear. I mean really, who could make that shot on purpose? And yes, I really am over 50. At least in human years.

So here I am with a toe back in the online world of dating (or online not dating). I’m still not sure if online is where I want to be. I’ll let nature take its course, as it were, and see how things shake out. I can always remove or hide my profile. I figure I have to actually try or no one will ask me out – ever. So I will try it again and see where things go.

Let’s shake this thing and see what falls out.







3 comments on “Re-instating The Online Dating Presence

  • Good luck with online dating. Let us all know how it pans out, with each and everyone you meet. It’s always interesting to get an inside view of how online dating fares for some.


    • Thank you for the luck. I’m quite sure I will need it. I will keep you updated on how things as they move along.

      And thank goodness I have a sense of humor. I have a feeling I’m going to need that too.

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