A Walk n’ Talk Date That Leads to………..Nowhere

Published May 9, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

I’ve had a little ‘action’ on the dating site. Not much mind you, but a little. It’s better than listening to the crickets chirping when I open the website to check mail and such.

One guy was 20 years younger than I am. Twenty years. While I thought it was kind nice that he was interested, I wrote back and told him that 20 years was a bit more age gap than I wanted to negotiate. He wrote back with a rather snarky answer, revolving around the old ‘Don’t knock it, ’til you’ve tried it’. Well, I don’t want to date someone close my child’s age. Just, you know – ew.

The next guy was doing all right with his e-mail efforts. We had a cute little banter going. It was fun. Then he crossed the line with the banter. And kept crossing it. Even after being told he had crossed said line, he continued upon the path of block/delete. And he made to all the way to block/delete. I hope he’s happy. I know I am.

I did get some very nice e-mails form a man who is polite and seems to be happy in his own skin. We e-mailed a little then when for a phone conversation. I tried to follow ‘the rules’ of first contact and keep it short, but he wouldn’t shut up. He is a talker. So much so, I could have set down the phone and walked off, come back, and he’d still be talking. Not that that’s a bad thing, but I didn’t want to be on the phone with him for 2 hours. It took a lot of ‘I need to get going’ and ‘I’ll let you go now’ to keep it to an hour. An hour. We have talked since (well he has talked since, I rarely get a word in) and I find he isn’t for me. He has no clue about computers and he knows almost nothing about his simple cell phone. While this may seem like a small thing, I have already stated I don’t want to spend my night out explaining to my date how to use his phone/tablet/laptop. I’ve been on that ride and I didn’t like it. Plus he’s into the night entertainer thing. He sings and plays at different venues in our area. I’ve been on that ride before also. It involves a lot of sitting around until break time. Then sitting around some more. Then we are all too tired to go anywhere but home. Maybe if I were in my 20’s I could do that, but not now.

My walk n’ talk date was a man who had very nice e-mails. We talked on the phone a few times and got along fairly well. He kept saying we’d be impressed with each other. I found that an odd thing to say. I also found it a bit unnerving that he is 60ish and never married. That made me go – hmmmm. He suggested we walk along one of the numerous bike paths. I declined because the numerous bike paths have numerous secluded areas. I prefer to be a bit safer on that first get together. We agreed on a more public place – the local dog park. I came with my dog, he came and walked with us. As we walked and talked, I realized we were at complete opposite ends of the spectrum. I love to go to movies. He does not. He likes to make film shorts and insists that going to movies stunts his creativity. He also admitted to picking the technical aspects of movies apart. So much for a relaxing escape. I don’t need someone pointing out that the wire is showing in that flying scene for one one hundredth of a second. I just want to watch the dude fly. And blow things up. He was completely clueless to any movie reference, yet told me he was going to host a show about classic movies. He didn’t get any classic movie references either. Not even from ‘Arsenic And Old Lace’ with Cary Grant or ‘Singin’ In The Rain’ with Gene Kelly. He didn’t know Raymond Burr was the bad guy in ‘Rear Window’. I think he’s lived under a rock most of his life. Maybe a cave. But he did go on and on about a short he made in the 80’s (which I did go watch on You Tube). Maybe he just needs to look at his calendar and see it isn’t 1980 something any longer.

We parted ways with the old ‘Well, we have each other’s number. Catch you later!’. I’m not planning on catching what he’s throwing. I believe he feels the same.

And so it goes. Dry spells followed by spurts of contact. I still haven’t had a real date. If I ever go one, I’ll be completely lost on date etiquette and do something silly or very un-date like. Nothing like letting a guy see the real you right off the bat, eh? But I figure he’ll see that ‘me’ sooner or later, so why wait? Let’s not waste time and get it the table early on.

If he runs, I’ll know he wasn’t for me anyway.



2 comments on “A Walk n’ Talk Date That Leads to………..Nowhere

  • Good move to let that Talker go. I had a romantic relationship with a man who was a good conversationalist, not one-sided at all…until we argued on the phone. Then he could go on for an hour and a half at a time, blasting me while barely taking a breath. I learned to call it getting ‘steamrolled’, as that’s exactly how I felt by the time I hung up on him. As for the musician, I’m glad you mentioned that. I had previously thought it might be fun to get to know a guy like that, but that would suck, getting stuck at a table alone, waiting for the guy all evening. As for this fellow: ‘I also found it a bit unnerving that he is 60ish and never married. That made me go – hmmmm…’ you were so right to go ‘hmmmm’. I had an on again, off again, romantic relationship with a 50-something who has never been married. There is a REASON why a man reaches his 50s without ever having committed to–or having been committed to–one person. It was gut wrenching to try to make it work. I now avoid the Never Married’s like they have leprosy, no matter what a profile gives as an excuse. (My guy’s profile said he had met a lot of great women, just not his Ms. Right. Truth was, he’d met several Ms. Right’s and spent some years here and there as part of a couple (was even engaged and near-engaged), but he didn’t see anything wrong with dating or travelling with a ‘friend’ on the side, either, and the Ms. Rights always figured that out eventually and gave him the boot. (Including me.) It’s good for women to share their experiences, keep up the good work! And I wish you a really great date soon.

    • Thank you for all you shared experiences and kind words.

      The older we get and try to date, the tougher it seems. Sharing our experiences and pitfalls may help the next ones who decide to dip a toe into the over 50 dating pool.

      (Sometimes I think its need a good shot of chlorine)

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