And Back on The Roller Coaster We go

Published March 11, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

coaster

There isn’t a lot going on in my life at the moment. Or maybe there is. I can’t really tell. My life is just, well, my life. Parts of it aren’t so pretty (to me, at least), but it’s what I’ve got at the moment, so I guess I’ll just go with it.

My ex husband is home for the week, healing up enough to go back and be his girlfriend’s primary caregiver. He is doing well, and really doesn’t need me for much. I think he likes having the company and the help in making the heavy decisions – like which laptop to buy. I wish I had that problem. But all in all, both of them are doing well and healing up. I may be here (their house) for another month house/dog siting. After that, it looks like they will be fine without me hanging about.

I am on the hunt for a new job. I am also taking this, um……..break from income, to re-evaluate what it is I want to do. I have worked in the same field for the past 3 years. Maybe it’s time for a change. This experience of being told I am a cold, eye-rolling resentful bitch (who does a great job!) may the hint I am in the wrong field of work. I don’t know. But I DO know I need income as well as something to do with my time. I have already threatened, er…….asked, the ex if there anything he’d like me to do to the house while he gone. He is thinking about it. Yeah. He’s thinking on the loud side. I already see furniture moving.

I’ve also decided I don’t have to stay at their place. With no job, I have no need of a yard to park the dogs during the day. So I think I will ‘move’ back home, dogs in tow, until I need the yard again. I can stop by and pick up mail, water the plants and that sort of thing. All in all, I prefer my own space to space that isn’t mine. It may be small (but tiny), but it’s mine.

These past couple of days have not been a lot of fun. There is much to think to about and to consider. I’ve had the break down, the tears, the rants, the reflections on my life thus far. So enough of the negativity. My March bills are paid, so I have a small reprieve. If I can sell my serger, I will be able to pay my April bills as well. My ex has already suggested I give up my place, but I think that is jumping the gun. After all, it’s only been a week. Though I did love getting the ‘You need income’ lecture (not). You’d think I was 18, not 53. Insert eye roll and deep sigh here. Oh, and thank you for reminding me why you are an ex.

Tomorrow is Monday, and with Monday comes more opportunities for a job of some sort. My friend of 15+ years is also at income odds. So we are going to trundle ourselves down to a local business that is hiring seasonal help. It won’t pay all that much. It isn’t a permanent paycheck (but really, no paycheck truly is permanent, eh?). But it IS money coming in to cover the bills and keep us both going for a few weeks.

Look world, here I come. Again.

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