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All posts for the month March, 2013

The Dating Game – Still Playing!

Published March 30, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

Image

If only I had Jim Lange to help me choose from three bachelors, this would be easier. But I don’t. I wonder, idly, where Jim Lange is. If he is still alive or if he has passed over. Hmmm.

Anyway, the dating is still going pretty much nowhere. Not even pretty much. It’s nowhere. I read my messages on the dating site and sigh. So much spam. So many fake profiles. Why do some people have to make a tough thing even tougher? I wonder if they get a thrill out creating a bot to try and scam people. Or if the game is to see how long they keep the other party talking before they are found out. I feel this way about the people who have so much time on their hands, that they create computer viruses just to wreak havoc on everyone else. Grow up folks. We really don’t need you create more drama in our lives.

The messages I get are varied. Some seem like okay guys, other are, well. just plain icky (I hope the technical term ‘icky’ isn’t throwing anyone off).

Here a  few of the new ones.

Hello

Nothing else. When checking his profile I find he has ‘a few extra pound’ (looks to about 60 extra pounds), and is Catholic. I don’t care that he is Catholic, but he insists his new SO is also Catholic or will convert. Good for him. Not so good for me. You got to choose your religion, why can’t I choose mine? Oh, I can. As long as it is the same as yours. Ah – no.

Text me so we can meet (number included)

Now, my first thought was to post his number here ask all you to text him. But that would be mean. Fun, but mean. I do have a slightly wicked side. Mostly I keep it to thoughts only. Just remember, I said mostly. This man is pictured on his Harley (which I can see has loud pipes), is rather roly poly and about 6 inches shorter than I am (Yes, I am one of those women who like their man as tall as they are or taller. My flaw, I own it). To top it off, I dislike demanding tone of his message. ‘How are you?’ would have made a much nicer start.

How’s the dating going? I love your profile. I’d like to date you and get to know you better.

Sounds pretty good, eh? Until I click on his profile and find he lives 2,000 miles away. Dating really isn’t an option, and I tell him that, And I thank him for the nice message. He insists we can get to know each other online. Okay. Three very short messages later, you know what he sends me? ‘Hows the dating going?’. Nothing else. Just that question. Again. Done.

Wow! I mean – Wow! You are some kinda woman!

Can we say ego boost? The man is adorable. He’s tall enough and reads nerdy enough without going over the top. We share some interests. He likes his women with a little meat on them (double hooray!). He is also just under 1,000 miles away. I am not very good with long distance relationships. It’s tough when you already know one another. We both kinda went *sigh*.

So I keep on keepin’ on. Maybe he’s out there looking for me. Maybe he isn’t. I know I am probably a tough fit for the older men. Many of them are still in a manly man mindset (which is fine, by the way) and while they like the idea of an independent woman, she still bruises the ego a little bit. How can the hunter/provider, hunt and provide for someone who doesn’t need hunting or providing done for them?

The world has moved on. And I shall continue to move with it.

The Human Pretzel Update

Published March 28, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

yoga-sunset12

It’s been almost 3 months since I began a yoga class. Yoga is one of those things that sneaks up on you. You feel like nothing much is going on, then BOOM! you realize how much IS going on.

I am seeing muscle definition in my arms and legs that I didn’t have before. It snuck in there at some point, and I didn’t realize it was forming until I was pulling a pair of tights. Yeah, I still have a lot of wobbly bits, but under the wobbly bits, there a lot muscle forming.

I am stronger than I was 3 months ago. Strength is one of the reasons I chose yoga. I know it builds strength. But how much strength you gain sneaks up on you. Yoga is not easy. It takes a good deal of strength to perform the various poses, let along hold them. We do one where you sit cross-legged on the floor, and place your hands on the floor, with fingers splayed, under your knees. You shift your weight forward and lift yourself up off the floor. I couldn’t lift myself up even a little bit. I can now lift myself up off the floor. I can’t lift my feet off the floor yet, but that will come. I was tickled pink when I lifted my wobbly arse up off the floor and could hold the position for a minute. Okay maybe 30 seconds. But I couldn’t do that 3 months ago.

We do planks. I could barely do a plank, let alone lower myself to the floor. Now I can do the plank and make it most of the way to floor without just plopping down. I happened to look at my forearms last week while we were holding a full plank. Egads! My forearms are full of muscle definition! I’d take a photo to show you, but I’m not up to one-armed planks just yet. I was so surprised, I almost fell down.

My flexibility has always been pretty good. But yoga is pushing my limits, and extending them. I don’t know if I will ever be able to put my leg behind my ear, but I am happy with the progress of my flexibility. I don’t have much t report here. I do have one shoulder that has limited movement due to my graceful falling off a horse many moons ago and breaking the humorous and dislocating the shoulder joint. It healed with a lot more movement than expected, but there are some things that shoulder just won’t due. The range of movement has improved a little bit. It may never be perfect, but yoga has made it better.

Balance. I have been good at balance for a long time. I have hula danced, square danced, done some gymnastics, ridden horses and a lot of other activities that require good balance. But yoga challenges all that. Standing on one foot is easy, right? Now stand on one foot, right ankle crossed over your left knee (just above the knee) with your hips pulled back (stick out your hiney). Now turn your upper body to one side. Yeah. Game changer. At first I couldn’t do that with the twist. Now I can. We do other, even tougher, balance poses. I can do some pretty well, others are a work in progress. I’ll get there.

My teacher is encouraging. He talks about where he was years ago, and where he is now. He notices, and tells us, how much we have improved. He’ll say ‘Look what you did! You couldn’t do that last month! Wow!’. He asks us how we feel we are doing. We share our progress with each other. Its fun. It helps us all realize where we were, and where we are now.

My body is changing. It’s slow and kinda sneaky, but it’s changing. I haven’t lost any weight, but I am getting so much stronger. My body feels better. My mind is sharper and clearer. I am learning to listen to my body and understand what it needs. I am learning to meditate and quiet my mind. I have more energy. I am happier.

Yup. I’m sticking to yoga.

Turning The Page

Published March 24, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

pages turning

Tomorrow is my birthday. Tomorrow I will 54. Tomorrow I begin a new job. Tomorrow I turn the page and begin again.

I am not in a mid-life crisis. I figure 55 is when that should set in. So I have a little time to plan what stupid and crazy thing I will do when I realize I am too old for whatever. Until then, I think I’ll just continue along the twisty turny path I am on.

The nice things about turning the page, is that all of the new pages are all blank. I can write, scribble, watercolour and splatter on them all I want. I don’t have to thumb back through the rotten pages, or remember when I did that stupid thing. I can choose what to look back on, what to dwell on and for how long. Or to not dwell at all. After all, I made all those decisions and I can’t run backwards and change them now. Not unless a man in blue box appears and decides I am worthy of his company. I’m not seeing that happening anytime soon. So I go forward.

Forward is a scary place. There is no net to catch me. If I fail, I fail on my own. I have no one to catch me, and only a few to cheer me forward. My younger self had a fistful of friends and a network of people. My older self does not have those things. Friends have moved on, as I have moved on. We are now scattered across the globe and touch fingertips once in a while. I have only a couple of stanch friends who most likely always be there as a shoulder, but they can’t be much more. Nor do I don’t expect them to be.

I have no significant other. There is no man I am dating. Not even a FWB. I am alone, in that respect. Not so much really lonely (though there are days I feel very much all alone), just on my own. I stand on my own two feet and face what ever decisions I make. Bad or good. It’s all on me. And I am just peachy with that. (Okay, don’t get me wrong here. I’d love to find a partner in life. I just don’t need one to be all right. I know, I know. That tends scares the bejesus out of some men. Too bad, guys. As they say, Cowboy Up.)

It really doesn’t matter how old you are, dear reader. It all still applies. Be happy alone. It makes you better in relationships. No one but you can make you happy. Move forward. Especially when your life hits the crapper. Step up out of the crap, and go forward. Forward is where the good stuff will be. Trust me, it isn’t hiding in the crap. Take responsibility for the decisions you make. You made them. It’s no one else’s fault, so stop saying it is. You are gonna make some bad ones (I sure have). See it, learn from it, move forward. Know who your real friends are. A few true friends are far better than tons of flakey ones. So you have 562 Facebook friends. How many of those are truly there to help you when you make that bad decision and fall into the crapper? Yeah, I thought so. Don’t dwell on the past. It’s over. It’s done. You can’t change it. Move forward.

So I am turning the page, starting out as fresh as I can. A new year in my life. A new chance to find my niche.

I don’t know what’s out there, but I will soon enough.

Scams, Scammers and OY! I Hate This Crap!

Published March 22, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

It seems nothing is safe from the scammer trying to part you with your money and/or sanity. Lucky for me, I have no sanity to part with. But don’t tell them, please, the game is more fun when they don’t know that little tidbit.

4970-craigslist-scams

Craigslist. That sea of advertisements for everything from jobs to dates. Reading the Best of Craigslist can be a hoot. Some of simply creative ads. Such as the Ninja Repellent Entertainment Center. This guy wanted to get rid of his old entertainment unit, so he drafted a fun and silly ad stating that the entrainment center repelled ninjas as well as holding all your video/audio equipment. He even stated he knew it was ninja repellent because he had had not one ninja attack the entire time he owned it. Cute. Fun. Made me want to go look at the thing. Some are just scary. Such as the lady looking for a Jedi Knight to help her with her labor and delivery. *cough cough* Um…..yeeeaaahhhhh.

Where was I……..Oh! Craigslist scams. Right.

I have an item listed on Craigslist for sale. It’s not a run-of-the-mill type thing, so I am not expecting it  to sell quickly (though it would be nice if it sold – please). And now that it has been listed for a week or so, the scammers have begun to make inquires. They always write and ask if the item is still available. Then they tell they will buy ‘the item’ at full asking price. Never once do they say what item they are interested in. It’s always ‘the item’. They never ask to see it, or if it even works. They just promise to buy it from you at the asking price. ‘I’ll overnight you a cashier’s check, then have my private shipper make arrangements for shipping ‘the item’ to my location.’. I may not be the brightest human to walk this earth, but ‘sucka’ certainly isn’t tattooed on my forehead. Those are easy. The delete button is very helpful in sorting them out.

But this time the game got more interesting. I got a text! Same offer to buy ‘the item’, same terms. Even without answering, I got follow-ups! (I googled the number. It was in a state about 2000 miles away)

Oh look, the cashiers check has cleared early!

Send me your info right now and I’ll drop cash right into your checking account!

(No mention of them taking much more right out of my checking account. But I suppose that heads up would spoil the game.)

My shipper is in your area right now!

(Really? Wow. He’s a fast bugger, isn’t he.)

We are at your door waiting for you!

(Since I am not home, you guys have a long wait. Besides that fact you don’t know where my door is.)

I looked online and found a way to report the number as a scam. And reported it. Sorry guys. Fun time is over. Now, now. No pouting. You’ll find another number to use in about 10 seconds.

The next scam is the online profile dating scam.

protect-dating-scam

They are all over. Paid site or free site, there are fake profiles galore. You get a message from a guy who tells you how much he liked your smile, profile or interests. You ,of course, go check out his profile to see who this turkey is and if you want to respond or not. The profiles are usually well written. The spelling is correct. The punctuation is spot on, or pretty darn close. The photos are of a good-looking man, but not he’s not over-the-top good-looking. He’s your average joe, with a regular job. Nothing to ring the warning bells and send flags zipping up to wave in your face. You answer. Then the fun begins.

This is the latest one I dealt with.

This man is supposedly in a town in California that I know. I grew up very close to it. He has a regular job, and it is noted he is retired military. He is a nice looking man.He sends me a message telling me he likes my profile and would like chat/e-mail to get to know me better.

And it begins;

hi. my name is Cody.

Hi Cody. How are you tonight?

im fine. what you do for living?

(Notice the no caps and the poor language already?. Ping! Flag up!) I am a receptionist.

nice to kno.

So you are in ******, CA?

yes

Cool! I grew up in *******, CA!

ok

(Cody has no clue where I grew up, because he doesn’t live anywhere near where his profile says he lives)

What do you do, Cody?

i like Electrical Engineer. look for bombs. drive big trucks all day, make people safe and happy.

(Ping! Flag up! I did giggle at the thought that he liked electrical engineers, rather saying he was one) In *********, CA?

yes

(Wow. That town sure has changed. There were never bombs there when I was a kid!)

i am in kabul, afganistan. last tour, then i retire.

(Ping! Flag Up! His profile said he was already retired. Geez dude, maybe you ought to read the profile you are using)

Wow. That’s interesting. What time is it there?

7:40 am. what time there?

(Ping! Flag up! I know a lot of military men. They use 24 time. Period.)

And well, it went downhill from there. Well, okay, more downhill than it already was. Maybe even into a bottomless pit. When questioned about his use (or lack of use) of language, he got angry and wanted to know what he did wrong. When I asked him who he really was, he just started stating the same name over and over. I terminated the chat, blocked that profile and reported it as a fake. While it is fun to watch these guys chat themselves into a corner, it’s also disappointing that the sites don’t have better ways to weed them out.

The story you get is always the same. 1) I like your smile/profile/interests/photo. 2) I am a widow. My wife died tragically x amount of years ago. 3) I think you are so beautiful and I want to meet you. Yes, the wife always has died tragically. Usually a car wreck or cancer. A few even add that they have lost a child along with the wife. The profiles are well written, but the e-mails show a very poor use of language. It’s rather obvious that English is not their first language. I have never followed these inquires to the end. I delete the messages and block the user. I have heard they eventually approach the woman about sending them money for something or another. Apparently, we women are all too stupid to notice the inconsistencies in their stories or writing. It does make me wonder if anyone actually falls for this scam. Seriously, you read a snippet of the transcript. Would you fall for this crap?

It makes wading through the dating pool a little harder and a little more tiresome. While I enjoy a good game of cat and mouse, I don’t want to play every day, all the time.

I would like very much to hear from a real human every once in a while.

Nothing To Do, Nothing To Do……..

Published March 16, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

fainting

Put some mustard in your shoe, fill your pockets full of soot, drive a nail into your foot. Draw a picture on the wall, roll some marbles down the hall. Pour some into your cap, now go upstairs and take a nap. (this from a book I read in elementary school. I can’t remember the title or the author, but it isn’t mine)

It’s Saturday. I’m at odds of what to so with myself. No one to share my day (or night) with, and no extra money to go escape at the movies with. I have nothing to say, so I’ll blog about it!

I have secured a seasonal job I do not want, but it will get me another month or so reprieve. I am hoping another, better job will pop up before the required training begins the week after next. The woman who was doing the hiring was impressed at my grammar and spelling skills. While they are not the best, they sure beat a lot of the ‘kids’ who apply. And I didn’t wear pajama pants and slippers to apply. Nor do I wear them to work. I’m not sure when this became ‘okay’, but it really isn’t. Some places call them house shoes (dresses, pants, etc.) for a reason, folks. You wear them in the house, not out in public.

I’d say ‘but I digress’, but since I have no real subject here, I suppose I am not digressing at all.

I nicked the ex’s Wii. He got it a year ago and has never used it. He is still waffling about returning it. But it has been opened and shuffled through, so I know it will simply sit on the floor and do nothing for another year or so. If/when he wants it back, it’s a simply matter of unplugging it and putting it back in the box. Now, I am not a video gamer by nature. The last time I played Nintendo was with my kids, many years ago (think Nintendo 64). They beat the crap out of me in every game except Mortal Kombat. Yeah, go figure. I can’t get Mario to suck up  ghost, but I can beat the tar out an opponent in an animated fist fight. I was the only one who could make Scorpion do his teleport thing. Anyway, I hooked the Wii to my TV and have begun to play Super Mario Brothers, Wii. I’m not horrible, but I’m not very good either. I have cleared the first ‘boss’ and made my way to the second one. Yippee! Eventually, I may even win the second ‘boss’ challenge. My fingers still have trouble with the controls, but I’m getting better. I say this as if this is a skill I’ll need later in life. No one will be after me to play ‘Enders War’. Just like no one will get that reference. Wow. I can be so geeky at times.

I’m also back to thinking about a new dating profile. I don’t know why, exactly. There isn’t much for singles here where I live. There is a singles group for my age range, but they seem a little too full of rules for me. I may pick an event and go one night just to see what they’re about. But other than that, not much happens here in my little town. And so much of the dating ‘how to’s’ are geared to the 20 and 30 somethings, it leaves us ‘old’ people falling through the cracks. While I am not wild about the ‘online experience’, it is one of the few options open to me to look for a datable male human (okay, I’d date a Klingon or a Romulan – maybe. But no Ferangi, please).

I also need to take some time to do a tutorial in Word/Excel/Outlook 2007 for a skills test. I intend to take the test on Monday morning. My own computer has 2008, so the nice woman to the hiring center suggested I take the online tutorial, then come in for the tests. There goes Monday morning! But it gets my resumé in the running for a better, full-time job. If I do well, I may even get in for an interview the same week. Please cross your fingers, send the good karma, prayers, whatever your thing is, please send it. I need the all help I can get. At some point, my good out look is going to collapse in on itself. And that won’t be a pretty picture. Not at all!

The afternoon is wearing on, the clouds carrying the predicted rain are rolling in. Even a breeze that is the herald of a weather change is kicking up a bit. It looks to time to pull the dog bed in off the balcony and close the windows. It also looks as if a movie (at home) is in order, followed by some computer tutorials. After that? Not so sure.

It may time to continue to sharpen my video game skills. Wii anyone?

 

 

 

And The Search Goes On

Published March 13, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

job-hunt

 

Job hunting sucks. It always sucks. No matter who you are and what field you work in, looking for employment just plain stinks to high heaven.

Employers have the upper hand these days, and they know it. Long ago and far away, you would be offered a job in an interview. If they liked you, they hired you on the spot. Not so much these days. You have fill out applications, go to an interview, sometimes two interviews, pass ‘tests’, or background checks. It all takes time and effort on everyone’s part. It’s slow. It’s annoying. Blah.

I have filled out applications and sent inquires out. I get replies from some, silence from others. Some, of course, are spam. No one in my area is paying $15 an hour for a receptionist. If you live in an area where they do, please let me know. I am open to re-location.

My friends have directed me to websites where I can sign up for job alerts for the city I live in and for the school district. I would love to work in a school library. I grew up working in a library. No really. My Mom set up and ran the library where I attended elementary school. From about first grade on, I learned how the file books, set up card catalogs and check books in and out. I think I was the only kid who actually understood Dewey and his decimal system. I spent many a summer morning erasing pencil marks out of text books. But I don’t have a degree in library science. Quite honestly, Library Science sounds like a made up degree. I know it isn’t. The school district sent my mom back to school to get one. She’d only been running the library for something like 10 years. Apparently 10 years of setting up and running a library means you still know nothing about libraries and their systems. Employers. Go figure.

I know my age is against me in some of ways. I can’t do the heavy lifting and endless hours. I’m not young and cute anymore (well, I AM adorable, just not so young on the outside). I know employers look at my age and wonder how long I will work for them. I’m not sure why. I am more apt to stay at a good company than a young one looking to move up, up, up. I don’t want to move up, just forward. I am content in support roles. I’m not out to cut throats to get that $1.oo a more an hour. I am happy living the life I have, for the most part.

I am either over qualified (I hold an Associates Degree), or under qualified. For me, I have a lot of experience, but then again not quite enough. It’s the same story for a lot of us face when looking for work. Few employers want to give you a chance to see what you can do. I have watched people at their jobs and known I could work circles around them. But I don’t get the chance because my resumé doesn’t show I haven’t done that particular thing.

I have even applied for seasonal jobs. It’s income that will keep me afloat until a regular paycheck comes along. But so far, nothing has popped up with a neon sign that says ‘We Want YOU to Work For US!’.

Kinda sad, really. I love neon signs.

And Back on The Roller Coaster We go

Published March 11, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

coaster

There isn’t a lot going on in my life at the moment. Or maybe there is. I can’t really tell. My life is just, well, my life. Parts of it aren’t so pretty (to me, at least), but it’s what I’ve got at the moment, so I guess I’ll just go with it.

My ex husband is home for the week, healing up enough to go back and be his girlfriend’s primary caregiver. He is doing well, and really doesn’t need me for much. I think he likes having the company and the help in making the heavy decisions – like which laptop to buy. I wish I had that problem. But all in all, both of them are doing well and healing up. I may be here (their house) for another month house/dog siting. After that, it looks like they will be fine without me hanging about.

I am on the hunt for a new job. I am also taking this, um……..break from income, to re-evaluate what it is I want to do. I have worked in the same field for the past 3 years. Maybe it’s time for a change. This experience of being told I am a cold, eye-rolling resentful bitch (who does a great job!) may the hint I am in the wrong field of work. I don’t know. But I DO know I need income as well as something to do with my time. I have already threatened, er…….asked, the ex if there anything he’d like me to do to the house while he gone. He is thinking about it. Yeah. He’s thinking on the loud side. I already see furniture moving.

I’ve also decided I don’t have to stay at their place. With no job, I have no need of a yard to park the dogs during the day. So I think I will ‘move’ back home, dogs in tow, until I need the yard again. I can stop by and pick up mail, water the plants and that sort of thing. All in all, I prefer my own space to space that isn’t mine. It may be small (but tiny), but it’s mine.

These past couple of days have not been a lot of fun. There is much to think to about and to consider. I’ve had the break down, the tears, the rants, the reflections on my life thus far. So enough of the negativity. My March bills are paid, so I have a small reprieve. If I can sell my serger, I will be able to pay my April bills as well. My ex has already suggested I give up my place, but I think that is jumping the gun. After all, it’s only been a week. Though I did love getting the ‘You need income’ lecture (not). You’d think I was 18, not 53. Insert eye roll and deep sigh here. Oh, and thank you for reminding me why you are an ex.

Tomorrow is Monday, and with Monday comes more opportunities for a job of some sort. My friend of 15+ years is also at income odds. So we are going to trundle ourselves down to a local business that is hiring seasonal help. It won’t pay all that much. It isn’t a permanent paycheck (but really, no paycheck truly is permanent, eh?). But it IS money coming in to cover the bills and keep us both going for a few weeks.

Look world, here I come. Again.