Studios, Junior One Bed Rooms And The Joy of Apartment Hunting

Published February 24, 2013 by mindfulofchatter

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I know this is random. But I can’t really control what the chatter is about. So random is as random does. Random box of chocolates on park benches. Or was that a bus stop? I dunno.

Where was I…………..oh! Random. Got it.

There seems to be a little bit if confusion with the landlords out there (as well as with the potential tenants) about what a studio apartment is. And to add a little more confusion to the pile, there are now junior one bedrooms. Who thought of that for a name. And what on earth is it?!?

A studio apartment means you have one largish room. Some are huge, some are downright tiny. But there is no defined bedroom. None. Oh, you may get a random wall to make it look less like one room, but you really get one room with a kitchen in the corner and bathroom. There is usually a closet stuck in there somewhere too. Though I did look one studio that had no closet. Well, okay, it had a broom closet they were trying to say was a wardrobe. I can guarantee Narnia wasn’t lurking in there. Anywhere. Asland wouldn’t have been able to wedge a paw in the sucker.

I live in a smallish studio. I have one big room with a kitchen and a little bathroom. My closet runs along one wall. There is a divider wall to create a ‘hallway’ and a little coat closet tucked into that hallway. It’s small, but tiny. I fit. My stuff fits. The rent is low. My trusty four-legged friend is welcome. I’ll call it home for at least a year, perhaps longer.

There is no such thing as a one bedroom studio. Got that? A studio has no bedroom. I repeat – no bedroom.

But now, there is a silly thing being called a junior one bedroom. WTH?? A friend is moving into a junior one bedroom, so I got to see a floor plan. The square footage is very close to what I have, but with more walls. This thing has a minuscule living room with a separate minuscule bedroom. The bedroom has no door. Yep, you read that right. The bedroom has no door. It’s just a doorway that goes from the living room to the bedroom. And it’s not as though the doorway is off to the side, or set so you can’t see into the bed room. Nope. That baby is front and center with a clear view into either room. The rent? Almost $200 more than I pay. And no, there are no breath-taking amenities to make it worth the extra dough. To make you laugh even harder, the bathroom is off the living room. It’s not even in the bedroom they so carefully created!

I don’t see the point of it. The space is now chopped up into tinier bits just to provide an extra wall. And there is still no privacy in the bedroom (Not that you need that. I mean, come on, studios are for one person only. No way two could live in mine for any length of time before one offed the other for more space). The cost of that wall is far too high.

I looked into renting a room in a house. It cost as much as my apartment. The same things were included, but all I would get was a bedroom and a few ‘house privileges’. Some had a shared bathroom. So……smaller space, no real rights as when I could use the kitchen or laundry, having to share the rest of the place with god-knows-who for the same price a private apartment. Most likely more noise, and being told to ‘turn that crap down’ now and again. Let me think *ouch*………………..I’m going to say no.

I looked a few other apartments. Some don’t take pets (I question that upon seeing some of the residents). Some do, but they charge more on the rent. Some charge more on the rent AND expect a  hefty pet deposit. I find that unfair. Charge one or the other, or at least bring the pet deposit down if you are going to up my rent (and yes, Virginia, I do understand most people do not have well-mannered pets. Most shouldn’t have a pet at all. Including that questionable human they are passing off as their significant other).

My biggest complaint comes from the ads. They say things like ‘one bedroom studio’ (covered that), ‘small cottage’ (means converted garage or shop), rustic setting (it’s about 900 miles from any town and uses a wood stove for heating and cooking.), ‘Unique’ (usually above a garage with no place to stand upright because of the slanted ceilings, and/or the bathroom is in the kitchen or down stairs) and my favorite; ‘Cozy’ (so small you can’t turn around and open the closet at the same time. Or sneeze and expect to inhale afterwards).

Apartment hunting, like house hunting, is not fun. It’s exhausting, disappointing and depressing. I think this why people either move all the time, or entrench themselves and won’t leave unless they are pried out with crow bar and explosives. And just when you think you’ve found Eden, that guy/girl with that dog/cat/parrot/bunny/snake on a leash walks by and goes into the apartment right next to the one you just looked at, slams the door and turns Meatloaf up full volume. Damn.



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