Valentines Day is steaming towards us at the pace of a runaway train. Couples are busy planning a night out. Men are frantically trying to think of some romantic gesture to show they didn’t forget. Women are frantically throwing out hints hoping he gets it (just a note here, ladies: The only hints men tend to get are the ones on post a notes glued to their dashboards or foreheads). There will be marriage proposals and major disappointments.
All because Hallmark and Russell Stovers want to make a few extra bucks.
For us who are single, Valentines Day can be a bit hassle. Cinemas are full of couples, dinner places are full of couples, people everywhere are crowding the street flaunting their couple-hood. Our coupled-up friends tell us their plans and show off the gifts they are planning to give each other. We have no place to hide. It’s as if we are in singleton hell for a day.
Dating sites also pick up this time of year. Many are trying to make enough of a connection to not be alone on Valentines Day. Searching for that someone special hits a new high. Old ‘maybes’ are re-visited to see something was over looked. New ‘maybes’ are dug out of the crevices.
To celebrate this geared up interest in finding that significant other, lets take a look dating profiles don’ts. Though I speak from the woman’s point of view, I can assure you most of these go both ways. And be aware this geared a bit more for the 40 and over crowd (my crowd). Shall we begin? Ahem.
Don’t Lie About Your Height. Just because you were 6′ tall in high school, doesn’t mean you are 6′ tall now. I am 5’10” tall. I know this because my doctor has measured me recently. If you stand shoulder to shoulder with me, or less, you are not 6′ tall. Not sure? Get measured. In bare feet. 6′ tall wearing your 2″ cowboy boots does not count as being 6′ tall.
Don’t Lie About Your Age. If you are 63, SAY you are 63. Don’t tell me you are 55 on your profile, then tell me you are 63 but don’t feel 63. Not feeling 63 does not make you 55. Get over your age crisis and be honest. And yes, I actually had this happen to me. A coffee date with a 55-year-old man, turned out to be a coffee date with a 63-year-old man.
Don’t Lie About Your Body Type. All the dating sites I have looked at have a little box for body type. If you are athletic, slim, stocky or whatever, you click it and it shows on your profile. If you have a belly that sticks out over your belt, you do not have an athletic body type. I’m not saying your aren’t athletic. I’m saying that isn’t your body type. If you are a good 40+ pounds overweight, you are not ‘a few extra pounds’. You have crossed over into ‘stocky’ or ‘BBW’ territory.
Be Honest ABout The Things You Like. I’m seeing a lot of men claiming to love long, romantic walks, chick flicks and other ‘girlie’ type stuff. While I’m not saying they lying, I suspect they are writing what they think us women want to hear. Be honest. No one wants to hook up someone only to find they really hate long walks, ‘The Notebook’, and other romantic brew ha-ha (or Star Trek, horror movies and other geeky brew ha-ha).
Put On a Shirt, For Goodness’ Sake! That profile photo of you with no shirt on is not winning you any prizes. Okay, you look good for a guy your age, but I don’t want to see that right now. And guess what? I’m not the only one. A very large majority of women are turned off by the Great Shirtless Photo when looking for a potential date. If it’s one of the better photos of your face, crop it down to show your face. Do it. Do it now. Please.
Post Clear and CURRENT Photos. That cool photo of you from 1977 isn’t going to get you a date in 2013. Nor will the out of focus photo. If I can’t see your face, chances are I’m not going to read your profile. Photos of you with your ex, your grandkids, or your car aren’t doing you any favors either. Yeah, I love a cool car, but it ain’t your car I want to date. Your photo, along with your profile, is how I am going to decide of I’d like to get to know you better.
Don’t Judge Everyone By Just Their Photo. I didn’t get the photogenic genes. I bet others didn’t either. I know you guys are more visually geared, but come on. We all can’t look like Morgan Fairchild, Joan Collins (Oh god. Now I’ve gone and dated myself) or Katherine Zeta Jones. I can’t afford the Botox. If you are looking at me, you should be in your late 40’s to mid/late 50’s. I’m not going to look like a 20 twenty year old. Sorry, but you’ll just have to take me as I am, and dream of Barbie later. I promise not to compare you to Cary Grant or Jimmy Stewart. Maybe Bruce Campbell, but…………………………
Now that you have a few pointers under your belt, go forth, fix that profile and search for your next S.O. She, or he, is out there somewhere, waiting with abated breath to be found (I’d hurry before she passes out from the abated breath).
Oh, and don’t hide your crazy. It may be the best part!