Online Dating Messages. What?!? Are You Kidding Me?

Published December 17, 2012 by mindfulofchatter

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends on what you put into it. – Tom Lehrer

I have an online dating profile. I have talked a little about this before. I have little to zero luck, but I leave the silly thing up just in case. Who knows, the not-so-perfect-slightly- off guy could find me there. I’m not banking on it, but……….

I do get messages every so often. None have panned out to even a meet n’ greet, much less a real date. I suppose I should say ‘real, live date’.  Bernie may message me at some point, and with the zombie apocalypse just around the corner, you just never know.

But back to messages. I have gotten some that go straight to the delete bin:

Your pruddy.

My pruddy – what? What is a ‘pruddy’ anyway. I’m not familiar with that word. Let’s face it. Spell check is everywhere. At least spell it correctly to start with, or click on it when the computer highlights it as incorrect. Can’t be bothered? Well then neither can I.

Wow. You r tall.

I already know that, thank you. While I could look past the statement had he added something else, I really, really dislike text shorthand, especially in an e-mail. Was it really that much more of an effort to type two more letters? I can only imagine what a longer communication would look like.

I have heard many men wonder why women are so ‘uptight’ about spelling and grammar. It’s similar to the way women equate dancing and sex (Oh come on. Men do it too.). It you can’t be bothered to take a few seconds to check your spelling and proper word usage (‘your’ and ‘you’re’ – etc.), then we figure you won’t want to be bothered with a relationship details.

The following is a more current e-mail exchange:

Him: I just wanted to say Hello.

Me: That would be nice. Hello to you.

Him: Hello

Me: Wow! This has a deja vu feel to it! *L*

Him: Hello

We had (or I hoped we had) a little bit of a laugh. I thought he was being funny and left an opening for him to move it forward. He didn’t. We are done.

I have a few men who have added me to their favorites list. They have not messaged me, just added me to their list. There must be something in my slightly-warped-yes-I’m-a-bit-of-a-geek/dork profile that they like. Not enough for them to try to talk to me, just enough that they want to re-read my silliness from time to time.

I admit I am a tad eclectic, geeky, too tall, not skinny enough and perhaps even too old to date (early 50’s), but I would like to. I can’t help how I look beyond taking care with my appearance. I can’t help that I am taller than a lot of men. I also can’t help that I tend to, and will, babble. Even in cyber space.

Yes, I have a quirky sense of humor. No, I do not wear footie pajamas.

Take that,!


4 comments on “Online Dating Messages. What?!? Are You Kidding Me?

  • Haha. This brings back my memories of Okcupid. I mean, honestly, it is really awesome at face value: a large variety of men, a profile page you can tailor repeatedly and the awesome “get-to-know-you” questions. But all in all. Whoomp. Not the best. It’s like there’s a “look but don’t message” stigma. Thanks for this post! I think it has reminded me why I DON’T want to go back again. 🙂 Good luck!

  • Assuming you are talking about POF, most men tend to use the favourites list as a “here’s an interesting profile, I’ll take a proper look later and message her then”. I’ve done this to a few but never had them on my list more than a week before messaging them.

    I’ve been online dating for about 4 months now and had 99% positive experiences. I think it is important to know what you want, go for it and ignore the rest.

    • Several sites offer a way to add someone as a favourite. Not one of the men who have added me to their favourites, has ever contacted me.

      I am also in the over 50 group. This a tougher dating bracket than 30’s and 40’s. 🙂

  • After years of on-line and off-line dating I finally met my match!! I could tell you stories that would make you toes curl and not in a good way. I’ve had many friends tell me I should write a book!! You know the saying, you have to kiss a lot of toads…………

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