All and all it has not been the best of days. I hate these kind of days. I rarely know what to do with myself to get through them or shake them off.
The day began all right. I got up and had my tea, then took off to go thrift storing. I had brunch at my favorite restaurant and sat in my favorite waitress’ section. We had a good chat and I had one of my favorite meals. How could this not turn out to be a good day? The thrift store shopping was not fantastic, but good. I found a couple of sweaters, a skirt and peacoat style coat in camel. This should have been at the very least an okay day. But somewhere along the way it crashed and burned.
I’m not sure why. It just kind headed south. My head went where it didn’t need to go and I just couldn’t stop it. here were tears on and off, discussions with myself about stopping that (really, what good does it do?), and trying to find things to snap myself out of the spiral. Nothing really worked. My funk got funkier.
Part of it came from reading a blog post this man wrote about the 16 things he did to ruin his marriage. It was very well written, and offered some very good advice. It was also eye-opening. I have done some of those very things to my former spouse. But more so, I have had a lot of those things done to me. (http://www.danoah.com/2012/10/16-ways-i-blew-my-marriage.html for those of you may like to read it). It made me think a lot about myself and where I am now. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in a very good way.
Add to that the fact that I haven’t had a date in over a year, let alone even a whisper of a significant other, and – BOOM! – mood dive bombs, day in ruins. I’m not finding self-examination to be very helpful just now.
Once the house was emptied of children-who-shoiuldn’t-watch-certain-TV programs, I turned on Netflix to catch up on The Walking Dead. Okay, granted, not the best choice when you are a bit depressed. It’s really not a bright, sunshiney, uplifting show. But I have missed the entire second season (no cable), and I wanted to catch up. But my funk was going nowhere and was deepened a bit when I had to turn it off with 11 minutes to go on an episode. No ones fault, just bad timing on my part. I knew I was cutting it close when I hit play that last time. And to top it off, everyone who trooped in the door was angry, tired, pissy and arguing. I was just not winning today, apparently, no one was. Back to my room I went.
It quieter now. Everyone seems to have settled down and cooled off. I may sneak downstairs in a little bit and have wee bit of ice cream. I don’t know. I’m still not in the best mood. I’m pretty sure tomorrow will be better. One nice thing about being a human mortal – the day will end, you will sleep and tomorrow will dawn. I will have the chance to start over with a new day and new mood. Plus, I don’t have to figure out the next 500 years or so.
Take THAT you vampire/werewolf/undead immortals!